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Whether you unwrap sexy
undies or footie tickets, psychologist Dr Pam Spurr gives you the
lowdown on the true meaning behind those gifts
They say a picture paints a
thousand words -and the same applies to gifts. As you shop for Christmas
presents for your partner, unconscious feelings and motivations drive
your choices. That means the gift you receive gives you clues about what your partner's thinking.
One study which looked at present giving between partners over a 10year period of their relationship, showed that in the first few years the gifts were rated as being highly in tune with what the receiver actually wanted. Sadly for many couples, the longer they were together, the less meaningful gifts became.
Whether you're a new couple or an established one, presents are one part of the puzzle to your emotional connection. So if you find one of these favourites under the Christmas tree here is what it reveals:
But heaven help the man who has poor personal hygiene, because this is a big hint from her: sort it out now is the message!
However, this partner might find it hard to face conflict. True romantics tend to sweep issues under the carpet. They don't like their romantic world dented by hurdles that all couples face. If it's very early in your relationship, this gift might be a bit creepy.
Feelings might have drifted into the platonic zone. If you also feel this way about sex, that's fine.Otherwise you may become increasingly frustrated with the lack of sexual intimacy.
After all, you have a busy life and no time to care for a pet. They probably have an impulsive streak, making snap decisions across your relationship.
However, the underlying meaning behind this gift is heartfelt. They mean well by it and they do adore you. Ultimately an unwanted pet reveals lack of empathy for what your life's really like. The saying holds true: a dog isn't just for Christmas. And your partner might end up in the doghouse with this choice of gift!
They probably also have a spontaneous side within your relationship that keeps things lively.
Beware if you don't share the same level of thoughtfulness in your gift to them this type of partner will take it hard.
It also reveals she has a straightforward personality and is probably easy to relate to. But this could be tricky for a man who doesn't want to constantly be at the DIY!
Plus they might take you for granted assuming you just like whatever they do. This partner might encourage you to do your own thing and be yourself and that's a positive.
But overall they may well place their needs above yours across the rest of your relationship.
They're basically good at turning any old thing like a walk in the park into something a bit more fun.
Watch out for the fact this partner may also be the type who needs lots of attention and fussing over.
One study which looked at present giving between partners over a 10year period of their relationship, showed that in the first few years the gifts were rated as being highly in tune with what the receiver actually wanted. Sadly for many couples, the longer they were together, the less meaningful gifts became.
Whether you're a new couple or an established one, presents are one part of the puzzle to your emotional connection. So if you find one of these favourites under the Christmas tree here is what it reveals:
EXPENSIVE, SOPHISTICATED JEWELLERY
This partner reveals a very traditional and quite serious side to their personality. They take you seriously and it's unlikely you ever feel neglected. You probably find they're steady and responsible by nature. They think carefully about investing their time and energy. They've thought carefully about you and they want to invest that time and energy.They might expect you both to fulfil traditional roles--so be aware of this if you have a non-traditional streak.SEXY LINGERIE
This reveals a true passion for you.They see you as a bit of a goddess and as a sensual woman with many levels to your personality. They want to indulge you and that includes in the bedroom. Expect some red-hot loving! They might take sex pretty seriously and have the skills to thrill you. The only potential drawback is if it's very early in your relationship.Then it might be a bit presumptuous of them to think you're ready for such red-hot passion.MALE GROOMING PRODUCTS
This is significant of a relationship that's still in the full flush sexual chemistry. It reveals she is attracted to him and expects a full on relationship. It can signal that she's sexually confident, too, and wants her needs met.But heaven help the man who has poor personal hygiene, because this is a big hint from her: sort it out now is the message!
NAMING A STAR OR DEDICATING A TREE TO YOU
This gift shows just how much of an incurable romantic your partner is.They probably put you on a pedestal.You can really count on this partner. This choice of an eternally lasting gift reveals a deep need to show just how important their love for you is.They're likely to make frequent romantic gestures.However, this partner might find it hard to face conflict. True romantics tend to sweep issues under the carpet. They don't like their romantic world dented by hurdles that all couples face. If it's very early in your relationship, this gift might be a bit creepy.
EVERYDAY UNDERWEAR
As far as your partner's concerned, giving you this gift suggests sexual intimacy has been lost. They're not focused on the sexual side of you-yet we all have many sides to our nature. On the flipside, they might have a practical streak and are, for example, great around the house and good with things like budgeting.Feelings might have drifted into the platonic zone. If you also feel this way about sex, that's fine.Otherwise you may become increasingly frustrated with the lack of sexual intimacy.
AN UNEXPECTED PET
Who doesn't love a cute little puppy, kitten or exotic tropical fish? But if you haven't asked for one, this potentially displays ignorance about you from your partner.After all, you have a busy life and no time to care for a pet. They probably have an impulsive streak, making snap decisions across your relationship.
However, the underlying meaning behind this gift is heartfelt. They mean well by it and they do adore you. Ultimately an unwanted pet reveals lack of empathy for what your life's really like. The saying holds true: a dog isn't just for Christmas. And your partner might end up in the doghouse with this choice of gift!
A DOMESTIC APPLIANCE LIKE A VACUUM CLEANER
This reveals a lack of imagination that might permeate your whole relationship. There's no more spontaneity and this partner shows things have got very pragmatic. I once received a Hoover for Christmas in one relationship and it was certainly a nail in its coffin! Of course, if you've asked for an iron or a blender it shows your partner listens to you. They're probably straightforward and uncomplicated in your relationship. It's the icing on the cake if they get you what you've asked for, plus a funimaginative little gift on the side. Otherwise this could flag up the start of general neglect within your relationship.TICKETS TO SEE SOMETHING YOU LOVE
This partner is enthusiastic about your relationship. Their gift reveals how much they care about what you like. They want to show you a good time and they try hard.They probably also have a spontaneous side within your relationship that keeps things lively.
Beware if you don't share the same level of thoughtfulness in your gift to them this type of partner will take it hard.
A POWERDRILL OR TOOLKIT
Although dedicated to the relationship, it may be a stage where sexual chemistry is not on her mind.Instead she may be in a nest-building relationships stage.It also reveals she has a straightforward personality and is probably easy to relate to. But this could be tricky for a man who doesn't want to constantly be at the DIY!
TICKETS TO A TALKED-ABOUT EVENT
This might reveal that your partner is the eternal optimist who hopes you'll end up loving their football team, their favourite band, etc. But it's more likely to reveal that they are slightly self-centred.Plus they might take you for granted assuming you just like whatever they do. This partner might encourage you to do your own thing and be yourself and that's a positive.
But overall they may well place their needs above yours across the rest of your relationship.
A CUDDLY TOY
This partner is forever youthful but may be a bit immature.They're affectionate and lovable.They can be quite playful in your relationship and make small romantic gestures.They're basically good at turning any old thing like a walk in the park into something a bit more fun.
Watch out for the fact this partner may also be the type who needs lots of attention and fussing over.
A NEW GOLF CLUB OR FOOTBALL BOOTS
Sportswear or sports equipment reveals she is very thoughtful about her man's needs and it shows she is really into his masculinity. She may be quite traditional in her approach to relationships. So she expects him to be a manly man.That's too bad for the guy who doesn't like to play a traditional role.
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