We live in an age where relation ships often come with an expiry date. But however delusional it may sound, most of us want our relationships to last a lifetime. We spoke to relationship experts, counsellors and sexologists to find out the key to this perfect space.

INTIMACY IS THE KEY

One of the most important things for a lasting relationship is intimacy , say experts.Sexologist Dr Rajan Bhosale says, “When a couple says that they are sexually active, it does not mean that the relationship is great. There may be times when the woman may feel that she is being violated by her husband every night, because he does not arouse her enough before the act or he does not wait for her to be ready . Or maybe, it is over too soon and she does not experience an orgasm. If either partner is not satisfied, and does not feel connected, then it is not helping the relationship at all. The involvement has to be complete and both need to have equal participation.Not the frequency , but the quality of intimacy is the key to a lasting relationship.“ Don't let your demanding lifestyle make you miss action between the sheets. Doctors say that this not only has health benefits, but the hormones released due to a loving, intimate time spent together has psychological and physiological benefits.

THE FOUR CS

Talking with your partner, even if it just means sharing how your day went, is necessary. Communication is the most important tool for a successful marriage that lasts forever. Dr Bhosale says, “The four Cs of communication have to be kept in mind -communication has to be Clear, Complete, Caring and Continuous.Remember that your partner is not a mind reader, so it is important to communicate.“
Making eye-contact when they are talking to you is essential, and so is listening to them. Psychologist and author Seema Hingoranny , says, “Communication is when you allow each other to speak and hear intently what the other is saying. It is about the comfort level you have with each other.“
When you are a good listener you can even understand things that your partner means, but has not put them into words.

FIGHT THE RIGHT WAY

Every relationship has its fair share of arguments. But holding grudges or sweeping problems under the carpet leads to complications.Constant bickering with one another is good when it is out of your system. Seema adds, “Never get personal in a fight. Avoid getting defensive. Respect your partner even when you are having an argument and do not use the other person's weakness against them.“

LEARN THE ART OF FLIRTING

When you are in a relationship for long, things tend to get monotonous and predictable. Seema says, “When you flirt with your partner, it helps in keeping the spark intact.“ Have fun and don't be scared to indulge in some harmless PDA. A healthy sexual bond can go a long way in making your relationship stronger. Simple gestures like holding hands, exchanging a smile across a room full of people, wearing the outfit that heshe likes, works wonders.

ROLE PLAY IS IMPORTANT

When a couple is together for many years, they tend to take each other for granted and slowly lose the spark in the relationship. Kanan Khatau Chikhal, performance coach for life and relationships, says, “Once in a week it is important for couples to pretend they are not married and indulge in some role play , or go on a date. This is perfect if the couple is experimental in their approach. The drama and fun connect adds to the effect.“ There are however couples who are not comfortable with role play and for them Kanan recommends.“Every week a couple should go for one activity that the partner likes. For example she loves plays and he loves movies, so one weekend both go for a play and the nex weekend make a movie plan.“

BE KIND. ALWAYS

Studies have found that this is one important quality that can make any relationship last longer. Displaying your wit by putting down your partner, hurting himher with your words, making unkind remarks, calling names etc., can slowly kill your relationship. Respect your partner, advice relationship counsellors.

AVOID MONOTONY

Keep doing new and different things together -travelling to new places, starting a new hobby , experimenting in bed -all this will keep your relationship new and exciting. Seema adds, “Taking mini breaks and vacays is important. Surprising each other with little gifts ­ cards and handwritten personal notes also work.“

WORK TOGETHER

It is important to share responsibilities and work together as a team.Sacrificing always won't help in the long run, because invariably bitterness will creep in. So be your own person and do not let each other feel trapped in a relationship.









Did you know there was an elf who changed the Christmas landscape in recent times, almost to the point of taking the shine away from his iconic master -Santa Claus? Known as the Elf on the Shelf, it took the world by storm this year. Exactly a ten-year-old tradition, which took off from a children's book on an elf `scout' sent by Santa to keep a tab on children being `naughty or nice', the Elf is now a multimedia phenomenon -spawning puppets, books, animation, games, apps and social media accounts with millions of followers. They are even customising it in terms of gender (a girl elf scout) or colour (with brown skin and eyes).
According to tradition, the Elf is on duty to give a day-to-day report of children's behaviour to Santa and makes an appearance in the beginning of Christmas. He then keeps popping up from different corners of the house and flies back to the North Pole on Christmas Eve with Santa.
Parents had a field day having fun or fighting over being on `Elf duty' and getting creative with the hiding spots of the elf. Some even posted selfies of the hiding spots (from book shelves to toilet seats) they had cre ated for the Elf or dressing up their babies as one. However, not everyone was gung-ho about the Christmas rage.Critics, which include academics argued that the presence of the Elf gets kids to accept `police surveillance state' and accept the `snitch' behaviour as normal.
Till that argument sinks in, Santa's favourite elf is laughing his way to the bank!

TOP OF THE XMAS POP SYMBOLS

Santa Claus Christmas tree Baby Jesus in a crib Star of Bethlehem Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

THE ELF TRADITION

The Elf on the Shelf made his appearance in the beginning of December and flew back to the North Pole on Christmas Eve.During his time on earth, he played hide-and-seek with the family, popping up from different corners of the house, keeping a watch on the children. It is believed that he flies off every night to the North Pole to report their deeds to his master. Children can talk to him, but not touch him as he will lose his magic.

KISS-MAS SYMBOL ON ITS WAY OUT

The mistletoe, a parasitic plant that grows on apple trees and oaks, is a symbol of fertility in European folklore. With time it became a part of Christmas tradition, wherein kissing under a mistletoe came to stand for deep love or romance. However, this Christmas element which added fun and romance to romcoms and comics, especially the Archies, reportedly had no takers now.









As the housing market recovers, experts feel investors should leverage on the New Year to invest wisely in the real estate space 

 

2015 has not been an easy ride for the real estate sector. Apart from cyclical factors, the sector has been roiled by issues such as delay in approval, harassment from authorities, demand-supply mismatch, so on and so forth.Investors fled the market; developers almost shut down their businesses. The tide is now again turning towards the sector with easing of FDI norms, renewal of interest from foreign investors and revival of demand of commercial spaces. So, investors are once again gung-ho about fresh buying prospects. But, experts feel one should be careful as the sector is at a nascent stage of recovery. 

 

Here are some new ideas to invest wisely in 2016: 

 

BUY SMALL OFFICES: 2016 is a great time to invest in small offices, which are being sold at much lower valuations.Jai Mavani, executive director at Shapoorji Pallonji Real Estate, says, “There is definitely going to be a turnaround in commercial property.“

 SENIOR HOUSING: This is a great space to invest in, in the coming year. “Such projects not only provide seniorfriendly accommodations but also medical facilities,“ says Shubhranshu Pani, managing director, infrastructure services at JLL India.

READY RESIDENTIAL PROPERTIES: Pick up ready residential properties in the secondary market at around 10-20 per cent discount from the current market value, according to Sanjay Dutt, executive managing director (South Asia) for Cushman & Wakefield.

WEIGH YOUR GAINS FOR RESIDENTIAL SPACE: If you adopt some scientific understanding for residential space in terms of incremental infrastructure and job opportunities, you would not go wrong, according to Samantak Das, chief economist and na tional director of Knight Frank India.

BE BRAND-CONSCIOUS: If you are buying a land or an apartment for investment in any micro-market, make sure it is built by a good developer, with promises of good infrastructure and amenities. “Traditional elements of buying spaces should not be forgotten.Fundamentals should not be overlooked. Cyclical factors are not important,“ says Vinod Rohira, director at K Raheja group.









When it comes to emo tional health, young couples -especially women -do just as well moving in together as they do getting married, says a study . The findings suggest an evolving role of marriage among young people today . As recently as the 90s, young people still received emotional health benefits when they went from living together to getting married. “Now, it appears that youngsters get the same emotional boost from moving in together as they do from going directly to marriage,“ said study authors, adding, “There is no additional boost from getting married.“
Another significant finding was that the emotional benefits of cohabitation or marriage aren't limited to first relationships. The study found that young adults experienced a drop in emotional distress when they moved from a first relationship into cohabitation or marriage with a second partner.
The study included 8,700 people who were born between 1980 and 1984 and were interviewed every other year from 2000 to 2010. For those entering a first union, men experienced a decrease in emotional distress only if they went directly into marriage. There was no change in distress for men who cohabited with a female partner. That may be because men are more likely than women to report cohabiting as a way to test a relationship, the study said.