Virginity is to be maintained unto marriage and if possible even beyond. Under no circumstance to be freely squandered on sundry men or women, however twinkling their eye or dimpled their cheek. Libido cannot be taken for test drives like cars, old Indian saying. Practise hardcore 24×7 chastity till wedding night, which is when good boys meet good girls. Marry that man, mothers tell daughters, there’s always his pension if he dies. Marry that woman, mothers tell sons, she looks just like me.
Matrimonial ad campaigns are run door to door on a vast network of brokers and aunties with free reception halls thrown in. In the land of matching gotras and honour killing, mumbo jumbo like ‘compatibility’ and ‘common interests’ are too First World to be trusted. Two members of the opposite sex cannot just rent a flat or buy a house and move in together – what will people say? May be legal, but socially and morally a no-no. Which also explains why so many ‘cousins’ hang out in parks and theatres. Just brothers and sisters doing the usual sibling stuff. Nothing to see here, move along.
The live-in pair is instantly identifiable: Domestic help can’t locate wedding photo on wall. Landlord now demands to see marriage certificate, the building will unleash its sniffer dogs. They may go on to find a cure for cancer, but in their neighbourhood they will always be that Unmarried Couple. Strangers will extol to them the virtues of wedded bliss on the street, in the lift, or while buying coconuts. As one husband put it: ‘I had to make my own dinner only once, when she was in labour.’ Everyone is asked two questions in life: When will you settle down and is there good news? Never is this asked in reverse order. Those who date eternally in search of a good fit, trying out partner after partner after partner, are not the sanskari type. Soulmates can be constructed from scratch; same caste, good family, a degree here, a pay slip there, two garlands and here’s your spouse.
It is all very well for lovers to say they will wed when/ if they want to have kids, and just live together meanwhile, thank you. With a population of roughly 1.38 billion, if there is one thing that worries India, it is running out of people. Don’t just live together and hog all the birth control. Hurry up and marry!
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